Hi, Folks:

You know, today was one of those days for thinking about things.  Not necessarily important things, but things none-the-less.

For example, Wolverine’s claws are sheathed in his forearms, but when he extends them some weird mutant set of muscles pulls them forward into his hands.  We know it has to be muscles of some type, because he had claws before the adamantium.  These leads me to wonder, if all that’s holding the claws in place is the skin on the back of his hands, why don’t the claws get ripped out every time he slashes?  Um, maybe there are bone sheathes in the back of his hand, all fused together with the other bones?  Sure.  In addition to this, if Wolverine has mutant muscles that extend and retract his claws, why doesn’t he have Popeye-sized forearms?  Really?  Finally, Wolverine, a Canadian with lamb chops; Neil Young, a Canadian with lamb chops.  Never see them together, do you?  Makes you think…

Benita once asked me, “How does Superman fly?”  Being the typical nerd, I immediately replied that his cells were solar batteries, storing up the necessary energy for flight.  Benita: “Well, that makes no sense.  I can throw a battery across the room, and it doesn’t fly.”  Too true, too true.

Consider Batman.  Here’s the smartest, most cunning person in the DCU, and a billionaire to boot.  With all his brains, he has apparently come to the conclusion that the best way to fight crime is to go into the street and meet violence with violence, which is probably useless.  With all his money and smarts, Bruce Wayne could have become a surgeon like his father and saved thousands of lives; He could have become the mayor, or senator, and push through legislation that would get at the heart of criminal problem.  He could have treated crime at its roots, improving education, starting after school programs, etc.  He could have made a massive contribution to cleaning lawlessness up, but instead he goes out at night and hits people.

It doesn’t end there for poor old Bruce Wayne.  He doesn’t kill, yet violence is unpredictable.  All the victim has to do is fall down wrong, really.  Repeated blows to the head can cause severe injury.  And, it begs the question, is the way to battle super criminals to fight them hand-to-hand?  Does this kind of violence ever solve a problem?  My guess is no.

Let’s look at Spider-Man.  He’s flexible, he swings around, he’s strong and agile, and he’s fast.  This sounds more like a monkey than a spider to me.  Sure, Peter Parker added his webbing, and there’s the spider sense (do any spiders have “spider sense?”), but that darn radioactive spider really created a monkey man!  The Amazing Monkey-Man just doesn’t sound as sinister as “Spider-Man,” though.