
Being Johnny Saturn – Part I by Benita G. Story. Copyright 2008 Story Studios, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Greg unlocked the door to his apartment. “It’s been over three days since I was last home. It feels like three years.”
Greg stumbled across his threshold, pushed the door closed and began pulling off pieces of his costume as he tripped, bounced off the walls of his hallway and finally fell onto the mattress on his bedroom floor. He was asleep before he had the chance to cover himself with the single blanket on his bed.
Sniff. “What?” Greg slowly fought his way to consciousness. As he did, he realized that his bladder was screaming in agony. Carefully, he groped his way into a standing position and headed toward the bathroom. As his body began to awaken, the screeches, pops, and cracks from his muscles and joints joined his bladder in a symphony of pain. He had never felt more like giving up and dying more so in his life than at that moment.
After what felt like an hour, his bladder finally emptied and his brain began its journey toward reality. Sniff. “Is that bacon I smell?” Greg’s head came up from being slumped against his chest, which caused a series of pops and cracks to issue from his upper vertebrae.
Greg slowly washed his hands. Then he splashed cold water onto his face and gasped as the water hit his face. All of a sudden, Greg was fully awake and he opened his eyes to the face in the mirror. “Holy shit! Is that face mine?” What peered back at him was a series of bruises and swellings that barely resembled anything human. He glanced at his watch. 10:30. “Morning or night?” Without waiting for an answer, Greg left the bathroom.
Sniff. “Coffee? I smell bacon and coffee.” Greg stumbled down the hallway toward what would have been a living room in a normally furnished apartment. As he walked the short distance, the smells became stronger and when he finally reached his kitchen, he stopped in awe at what he saw.
There, standing at the stove, was a man with shoulders as wide as a bull-dozer. The man had his back to Greg and was taking something out of the skillet.
“It’s about time you woke up!” came a gruff voice. Greg just stood there with his mouth open.
The man turned around, a plate in one hand and a mug in the other. He was about 6’4”, had short, dark hair graying at the temples, and was well dressed in a polo shirt and neatly creased slacks. “You’ve been asleep for over two days,” the man said.
Greg watched the man as he sat the plate and mug down on the counter in front of Greg.
“I’d put this on a table for you and offer you a chair,” the man said as he looked around at the bare living space, “but it seems we are short on those this morning.”
Greg swallowed hard. “You are John Underhall.”

John smiled and said, “So, you aren’t a total imbecile this morning, Greg. Good. We have a lot to talk about.” He then thrust a fork at Greg.
Greg took the fork and began shoveling food into his mouth. For several minutes the only sound to be heard was munching and slurping as Greg gulped down the hot food and liquid. As he ate, John turned back to the stove.
When John finished cooking his own breakfast, he leaned against the counter next to the stove and slowly ate. As he did so, he watched Greg closely. When Greg finished his meal, John reached into the pocket of his pants and tossed something at Greg. Greg barely caught it. It was a medicine bottle.
“Vicoden.” Greg stared at the bottle.
“It’ll help with the pain,” John said as he paused in eating.
Greg continued to stare at the bottle, then, slowly, he placed it on the counter in front of him. “No, thank you.”
John shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself. But, if you keep treating your body like you have in the past several days, you are going to need it.”
Greg looked up. “And be like you? I heard you were a pain killer junkie.”
John continued eating. “Used to be. Not anymore.”
John took his now empty plate over to the sink and rinsed it off. He then reached for Greg’s and did the same thing with it. Greg kept a tight hold onto the mug. John glanced at him, grinned and asked, “You want some more coffee?”
Greg’s face muscles contorted into the closest semblance of a smile it could make at that time. “Sure!”
John laughed and poured both of them another cup from the coffee maker next to the stove. Then he picked up his cane and led the way over to a wall next to a window. Greg watched as John slowly eased himself down into sitting position on the floor. Once John had settled, Greg slowly, and achingly, joined him.
Greg looked at John Underhall. “What do we need to talk about?”
John took a sip of the coffee and leaned his head back against the wall. “You. You and your future as Johnny Saturn.”
Greg looked surprised. “My future as Johnny Saturn? You mean you aren’t here to tell me to cease and desist?”
John shook his head. “Do I look like I’m in the position to take the job back?”
“Well….”
“No. I’m here to help you become Johnny Saturn in more than just name.”
Greg sat silently for a minute. “How?”